Although all of us know that all good things come to those who wait patiently, I continue to get questioned as to why the annual LPLT Epilogue can't be completed earlier.  The answer is quite simple, actually.  Hell, anybody could do it while it was still fresh in their minds.  It takes a real pro to do it 10 months or so after the fact.  Beside that, the enjoyment of reliving cherished memories is much sweeter after considerable time passes.  So, without further ado . . . here 'tis . . .  a recap of LPLT 2009, a trip that will be forever remembered as "the year of the purple haze".
 

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Can't believe the day of departure has finally arrived, although it is somewhat of a bittersweet day as, once again, the Doo will be MIA and the Pole is also "sitting this one out", although he has graciously offered to chauffeur Banjo and Buckwheat to the airport.  Naturally we had to have a couple of traveler's for the long trip and after 2 sips Banjo announces that "he's drunk".  We leave the house at 1pm and arrive at the airport and through security by 2:10pm.  The new United terminal in Detroit is very nice - a gybungous improvement from the past.  The only problem with it was that there was no bar at the gate.  Fortunately I had dropped some bread crumbs behind us and we followed them back to a "Champs" sports bar.  We proceeded to have several more cocktails and some munchies, all whilst our Grandma nurse Patty fell in love with Banjo.  When we finally managed to drag our sorry asses out of the bar we're pretty sure we heard her yelling something about wanting to "ride the Banjo pony".  Anyway, our flight was delayed only slightly and we did depart for Denver at 4:46pm EDT.  My notes indicate that there were 6 more Buckwheats on the plane but I don't remember if that was 6 a piece or total.  Anyway we landed and deplaned at 5:45.  We had to go on a dead sprint to Gate 75, which was almost in Wyoming, and we were the last 2 to get on the plane.  We did manage to down 2 more Buckwheats each for what turned out to be a very rough flight.  At 7:20 MDT we land in Durango and are met by both Jim and Jane and, thank God, some additional Buckwheat fixins, including a whole 3 ice cubes each, courtesy of our always generous boy, Deadeye.  It was so good to see both of them again (and the 2 kitty cats, but we do miss the dogs) and we were treated to a wonderful spaghetti dinner from the Catholic Church ladies and off to bed at 9pm.
 

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Not that I'm excited or anything but I awake at 1:21, 3:17, and finally out of bed at 5:45am to sunny skies and 45 degrees at the Morehart Casa.  The 3 of us depart for Farmington at 8:45 and take some photos of a Bobcat munching on a coyote carcass for breakfast.  After he figured out we weren't any threat to his vittles, he didn't give a rats ass that we were watching and taking pictures of him.  We ate our own breakfast in Farmington at Buck's Pancake Village, where, once again, we are the only "palefaces" in the joint.  We get our shopping done at Sam's and back to Deadeye's to watch the NASCAR race and the Rockies game and take naps while Deadeye pulls on his pink leotards and peddles a couple hundred miles . . . absolutely wears my ass out watching him.  At 4pm we are joined by Jamie, Samina, Eric, and his Mom, Judy who is visiting from Oregon.  Shortly after, Jeffie, Jen and their dog, Sage, also join us for an incredible meal of Enchilada casserole, rice, and beans.  All the while, Grandma, Grandpa, and Surrogate Uncle Banjo absolutely hog all the time with precious, new baby Samina.  She is a little doll and I think Mom and Dad are gonna have their hands full with this beautiful little, river girl!!!  After the guests depart we all watch the Apprentice unfortunately, the Donald's hair didn't fall out).  We're all off to the sugar plum fairies by 10pm.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Up at 5am and off to town by 7 bells.  We head right to the bakery and the green chili croissants are still world class!!!  Great to see Jeffi and all the Bakery folks again.  We go to the dealership and, take all of our stuff out of the traditional storage place in Morehart's Parts Dept as we are gonna move our inventory to the former Murphy building.  No one on the planet is happier about that than Kelly Black, Jim's long time Parts Mgr.  We transfer everything over, stage what will go on the trip and stake out a permanent storage place.  We then head to Wal-Mart, and while Buck is talking to his Mom on the phone he is distracted and backs into a moving vehicle in the Wally World parking lot.  Turns out it's a little old couple from Arboles driving a Hyundai Elantra . . . what the hell is a red blooded American from Southwestern Colorado doing driving a Korean Slantmobile in the first place??  Then head to the Liquor store and buy 3 bottles of 20 year old Port for the trip and 2 bottles of red wine for Sunni.  We then return to the dealership and convince Deadeye to call the Marina and upgrade our reservation to the larger, 59 footer (only $700 more and cheap at twice the price).  We then go pick up Goddard's boat and conclude that he still hasn't seen a barber since the Bush inauguration (the first one).  At about 11 the Denver contingent arrives.  This year it's Denny, Luther, and our "rook" for this year, Gary Torgerson, a retired Colorado State Patrolman and Luther's Brother-in-Law.  Deadeye is so proud of himself that he has already come up with a nickname for the rook - it's to be "Ponch" (remember Chips?).  Ponch seems OK with the name and, despite the company he keeps in Brother-in-Laws,  and his former vocation, seems to be a pretty decent guy . . . of course we haven't talked about that little child molestation issue that Morehart has been trying to cover up for decades.  We all go to lunch at the Ska Brewery . . eat your heart out Pole . . . they now have Mexican food catered in.  We do discover that the "rook" has one serious character flaw in that he doesn't like Mexican food . . . gonna be a long trip for someone!!  We're off to City Market at 3 and do our grocery shopping.  Buck is very, very conservative this year in his shopping and saves nearly enough money to pay for the houseboat upgrade (at least that's what this author recalls).  Back to the dealership and all the rest of the guys finally arrive to load the boats and drink the community beer.  It seems that Wallstreet has now sold his house so Denny and Jon will be sharing a motel room - Couldn't tell you if it's the No-Tell Motel or not.  We're all (well, at least the law abiding ones of us) a wee bit nervous as Ponch's best friend, who just happens to be the new Major of the SW Colorado State Patrol, joins in the fun.  He makes us all a little bit more comfy when he joins in as well.  At 6, Banjo and Deadeye drop Buck off at Gaspacho's to make dinner while they get diesel fuel.  We head home, eat, watch a little tube and in bed at 10(well some of us went to bed and some nameless geek, nerd decided to stay up  and work on Sunni's computer).

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BUCKWHEAT!!!!  and no better way to celebrate, for sure, than to join the LPLT gang and head "or 'der" for another wonderful adventure!!!  Actually an all time first occurs this morning - Deadeye wakes up Buckwheat at 4:22am . . . don't know that this is a good omen!!  We finally manage to get Banjo woke up and torn away from the computer long enough to start getting ready.  We get everything packed up and, thank God for lists, we discover that Ole Deadeye had, indeed, forgotten the Green Chilies - the "Rook" may have appreciated that, but the rest of us woulda drowned his sorry ass.  We pull out of the driveway at 5:24am at 32 degrees.  Laura and Patrick call Buckwheat at 5:39 to sing Happy Birthday . . . what thoughtful children!!  We arrive at the dealership at 5:49 am.  Ole Buck gets a little scare as he has to get rid of some coffee at the back of Murphy?s lot and Ponch and the Highway Patrol Nazi drive up, in the squad car, and spot light him . . . probably the biggest thrill those boys have had in a long time!!  Naturally, Wallstreet is the last to arrive - some things you can just always count on!!  This year's cast includes:  Deadeye, Buckwheat, Banjo, Knocker, Stink, Jake, Wallstreet, Freebie, Luther, and the Rook.  We finally depart at 6:12 am, with Buck driving the lead vehicle - this ain't never happened before and just another scary sign of things to come.  Stink has jumped in this vehicle with Deadeye and Banjo and Buck and his cell phone quickly begins ringing periodically from new bride Jen - ain't love grand!!!  At the Lewis turnoff to Dove Creek a time honored tradition is, once again, renewed as the first beer is popped (Jasper would be so proud - no, actually he would be a bit disappointed that we waited so long!!).  We arrive in Dove Creek at 7:40 and at least one thing is right with the world - Connie's Blue Mountain Cafe is again open and, yes, the old blisters are thrilled to see us again!!  The Bassholes present Buck with a birthday card and Banjo passes out the new, one of a kind, official LPLT T-shirt - soon to become a collector's item - Great job, Banjo and much appreciated by everyone!!  Another in the line of "ain't love grand" incidents is that Freebie receives a call from his new lady friend.  And, the frequency of this event would far eclipse Stink's calls.  Another "this ain't never happened before" event occurs when the rook, Ponch, orders . . . you'd best sit down for this . . . oatmeal . . . that's right I said oatmeal, and not biscuits and gravy and oatmeal or huevos rancheros and oatmeal or any kinda grease and eggs and oatmeal . . . no, just plain oatmeal.  I have heard tell of people that eat this kinda bullshit stuff for breakfast but I never woulda thunk that one of 'em woulda made this trip (I just thought they all stayed in San Francisco).  Hey, no offense, Rook, just reportin' the facts.  We make a call to the Pole and rub his nose in some foul, evil caca and call him all sorts of insulting names, you know, the one's that generally refer to the guys who eat oatmeal for breakfast.  Deuce also calls us and Buck reminds him of the many lessons that he has learned in his two brief appearances with the LPLT gang - do wish that boy would join us again sometime as Deadeye definitely needs some more fishin' lessons.  Discussion also comes up concerning the LPLT website and Banjo receives huge kudos for the addition of the "lockbox" - everyone just wishes he would update it more often.  Another bad sign of things to come occurs when Stink discovers he has forgotten his beer - don't know why breakfast made him think of that but, again, I just report the facts, ma?am.  The food at Blue Mountain is as good as always and just as cheap as we remember - $69 for 10 guys.  We go to the nearest gas station so Stink can buy some beer and finally depart DC at 9am.  The Rook claims to see the Horse Head but the Pole always brags about being able to see the horns also.  We stop in Blanding and buy some jalapenos and Freeb is scared to death we don't have enough - really, we got a guy who eats oatmeal for breakfast and we're worried about whether we got enough jalapenos???(just shut up and take another call from Kathryn, Counselor).  After another tradition of the Electric Horseman at the Blanding turnoff, and through Combs Wash, we also stop at the next time honored traditional turnoff for the annual photo op and pee stop.  It is actually 169 miles from the dealership.  We stop at the ruins so the Rook can see em - actually I lied, us old guys just needed to pee again.  It is now 64 degrees and the sun is shinin - maybe things are looking up.  We finally arrive at Halls at 11:45am and it is 74 degrees.  I lost the "closest to" bet to Deadeye as he had 71 and I had 70 - guess I'll have to let him, once again,  kiss the . . . .oh, sorry, I forgot this was a family show.  Stink, Luther and Knocker head to Bullfrog to pick up the Houseboat while the rest of us begin to unpack everything and launch the fishing boats (we discover that the boat Jake has borrowed/rented, launches much more easily when you undo the safety straps from the trailer).  Sure do miss watching Pole climb up to the crapper 4 or 9 times with those little, 4 inch steps!!  Freeb again calls Kathryn to see how her lunch was (gag me).  Houseboat arrives at 2pm and we load up and head out.  A decision is made to head north, yes I said "north", and no we haven't done that in about 20 years - can this be another sign of weird shit about to happen?  Actually, Buckwheat's tummy is a bit sour - musta been from watching someone eat oatmeal for breakfast and he lays down for a nap.  Banjo and Stink are dispersed to make scouting trips.  The weather is not cooperating as it has become quite windy, cooler, and cloudier.  We finally wind up in Forgotten Canyon at 4:30.  It's a temporary stop as there is no beach but in a small amphitheater and great protection from the elements.  At 5:30 some of the guys go out fishin but Buck and Deadeye stay in camp to begin prepping Bruschetta, Burgers, Chilies, Cheese, etc.  The fisher boys return soon with reports that it's "slow" . . . no shit, boys?  Well, everyone but Wally said it was slow but nobody ever believed him about catchin fish anyway.  We very quickly break into the booze to celebrate Buck's birthday . . . like we need an excuse.  We teach the Rook the fine art of Buckwheat drinkin and he does MUCH better on this than breakfast.  We go through 3 bottles of 45th Parallel (the DC boys claim to have spent $38 each on booze this year . . . let's pray it's enough).  At 7:45 we are treated to a feast of Green Chili Cheeseburgers on Cibatta rolls, Freebs world class beans, and salad.  The Rook takes 2 giant steps backward when he removes the green chilies from his burger - he did what?????  We finish off the wonderful dinner with a bottle of 20 year old Sandeman Port that Luther brought - great choice, Jon Boy, and chocolates.  Off to bed at 9pm and, either a miracle has occurred or they have added about a bazillion R factor insulation in these boats as I don't hear even a single snore all night . . .but then, remember, the Pole ain't here.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

6:02 am Luther up and generator on.  Most everyone up pretty quickly except Banjo who is nowhere to be found.  An "all points bulletin" is issued and the search is on as no one knows where he is or was all night.  A minor crisis is quickly averted as he is soon located as it seems he had decided to spend the night on the "Goddard Deck" (for those newcomers to this journal, that is the forward portion of the upper deck, outside the railings where, once upon a time, Lee Goddard, in a completely drunken stupor, and forgetting where he was, walked directly off the top deck while going to take a leak - apparently it's true that God looks after little children and old drunks).  Another time honored tradition is renewed after the heavy footsteps of Deadeye on the roof are followed in roughly 11 1/2 seconds when he's in the crapper.  Nothing better than hot coffee, crumb cake and pecan rolls, all with ample amounts of Bailey's for an early morning treat.  At 8am all out fishing except Buck and Banjo who stay in camp to try and get the XM hookup working, after all there's hockey playoffs to listen to.  We finally determine that the overhang of the amphitheater is blocking the signal, at least that's what we hope is wrong.  After some prep of chicken breasts and Buckloins for dinner the two fish off the back of the houseboat and both actually catch a fish, Banjo's is a keeper.  Freeb and Deadeye are back in first and dutifully report, "there's no f'ing fish in this lake".  It's a beautiful day, bright sun and still and that calls for a wonderful concoction of Freebie's precisely measured Bloody Mary's and the new Horseradish Vodka from 45th Parallel - a perfectly wonderful invention.  A little more fishing off the back of the houseboat and Banjo and Freebie both manage to catch the tie up rope with their favorite lures.  By 11:30 all are in for a great breakfast of Grace's incredible breakfast burrito's and Green Chili - Grace you are amazing and the sweet mystery of life is why Jake doesn't weigh 500 lbs??  At around 1pm we break camp and head to Cedar Canyon.  By 2:40 we are docked at the very end, next to a sand bar and with at least 11 inches of room to spare on each side of the houseboat - great job getting us in here Captain Knock, we'll worry about how to get out in a few days.  By 3pm everyone down for a nap and life is good.  By 4:30 everyone fishing except Buck, Banjo, Deadeye, and Ponch.  The best news is that XM is now fully functional.  By 7pm, Knocker and Jake are cleaning fish and Banjo is f'ed up - that's news???  Around 8:30 another wonderful meal of Chicken Ore House, Lake Powell Casserole, Red Chili, salad, and Bruschetta and Buckloins.  And, this must be a mistake but the trip notes say that the Rook caught a fish, don't have any idea how that happened but, and I know this part is true, his Bro-in-Law is successful in "petering him" - another wonderful rookie tradition!!  Another somber tradition is renewed with the readings and toasts to Sparky and Jasper - we'll forever miss you boys, but you're always part of the trip.  Following dinner we're treated to more port and chocolates and Ron White and Roy "By God" Mercer.  During all this Banjo ventures off on to the sand bar, barefoot, and set's fire to every available tumbleweed.  Quite a beautiful site for all except Banjo's feet.  By 9:30 all in bed and all is well (can it last?)

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Luther and the generator up at 5:56.  At 7:15 Stink, Buck and Deadeye out fishing.  Buck lands a couple small smallies, Deadeye a nice Striper (if there is such a thing) and Stink boats about 10.  By 11, all back in camp and another report that the Rook actually caught 2 fish.  That's it . . . something is definitely not right.  And, then it happens . . . I just knew that there were too many signs of impending doom and, all of a sudden, there they were . . . and those of you with a weak stomach may now wish to tune out . . . Stink appears on his boat in . . . are you ready for this?? . . . . dare I say it of a fellow Kansas boy?? . . . the ugliest pair of footwear God ever created . . . PURPLE CROCKS!!!!  That's right, he said, Purple Crocks.  And, if that wasn't bad enough, he was actually proud of em.  And, now you know why 2009 will forever be known as "the year of the purple haze".  The memory of that vile site will forever be indelibly burned in all our memories.  I wish it weren't so but, again, girls, I just report the facts.  Somehow we summon up the courage to briefly erase that vision from our memory banks long enough to enjoy a breakfast of Chorizo Omelet, Biscuits, Hash browns, and Chili Verde - thankfully it's barely hot enough to briefly overcome the "purple haze" memory.  By 12:30 naps are underway till around 2.  Weather is sunny, 80ish, a little breezy, and everyone is busy tying on more new shit to their fishing string that is also guaranteed not to catch fish.  By 4:30 all out fishing and Stink catches a really nice largemouth - guess bass truly are color blind.  All in by 6:30 for a great bowl of Posole and Green Chilie (I have no idea what the Rook ate as he still ain't come around to Mexican food).  More port and chocolate and off to bed by 9:30.  Pretty exciting bunch, ain't we?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Luther and the generator up at 5:52(pretty consistent alarm clock, ain't he?).  Following Bailey's and wonderful Jeffie munchies, out fishing again with Deadeye and the Purple Haze wonder at 7:15.  God, why do I put myself through this incredible visual punishment?  Again, I catch 1, Deadeye has perfected the early release technique, and Stink lands his usual 10 or 12.  In by 11:30 for biscuits and gravy and we ain't lost our touch!!  Naps by 1pm.  Banjo disappears for a hike, or at least that what he says he was doin.  Out fishing by 4:30 with Banjo and Freebie.  Banjo lands 3 , buck a couple and Freeb, once again, creates the finest "bird's nests" ever seen by white people.  In by 6:30 as it's cloudy and windy.  Listen to the Red Wings destroy some unworthy opponent.  Knickerknocker whips up a perfectly delightful batch of fish batter and fries up some really tasteful morsels, accompanied perfectly by Jake's Jalapeno Tartar Sauce.  More port and chocolate followed by a little  Roy D, and Lewis Grizzard and the all time hit "Pierre Boudreau and the I ain't votin for no sumbitch that don't know the difference between a steam boat whistle and a cow with a bugle up it's butt".  Drift off to bed by 9:30.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Luther up again and generator on at 5:50.  The precision of this crew is once again on display as everyone pitches in to get us ready to break camp.  Somehow, despite a dying right motor and strong wind and enough room for only a couple farts, Captain Knock manages to somehow bounce the houseboat off enough rocks and stumps to get us out of Cedar Canyon.  By 7:30 we're in the main channel with all fishing boats tied up and headed down lake toward Bullfrog and Hall's.  We dine on left over breakfast burritos and Buck makes sandwiches without cutting off any fingers (some things do change!).  Just the second we get into cell phone range Freeb is on the phone to Kathryn - ain't love grand?  We arrive at Hall's by 9:45 and fully unloaded by 10:15.  Luther and Denny return the houseboat.  The precision of this crew in getting everything packed in vehicles and ready for departure is nothing short of amazing - just wish we could get some Washington politicians to witness what can be done when everyone just merely does what needs to be done without being told what to do or cares about who does it.  By 12:15 we are all loaded up and stop by the Hall's boat repair shop to get some grease in Stink's trailer wheels.  The Rook inquires as to what our By-Laws say about continued rookie status.  Deadeye looks em up and finds that Article 47, Paragraph 139, Subsection 12-B says that, "in the event no rookie makes the trip, then rookie status reverts back to most recent rookie to miss a proceeding trip".  Pole, looks like you'd better start brushing up on your Rookie roles and responsibilities again.  Wayne has to pee in the ruins.  It's raining in Cedar Mesa and 49 degrees.  We again stop and pee at the tin building at the Electric Horseman turnoff spot outside Blanding.  We make a final gas stop at Dove Creek at 2:45.  We see new snow on the LaPlatas and arrive back in Durango at 4pm.  The new storage site at Murphy's old building works perfectly!!  We return Goddard's boat and back to Deadeye's by 6pm.  Sunni arrives home at 7 and after we do dinner, shit, shower, and shave, it's lights out by 10pm.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Up at 4:30 am and Banjo and Buck leave Jim's at 5:25.  We're at the Durango airport by 6:10am and depart on time at 7:38.  We arrive in Denver at 8:20 and, as always happens when you've got plenty of time, out departure gate is right next to our arrival gate.  We depart Denver at 10:20 and arrive back in Motor City 20 minutes early at 3pm.  Ginners picks us up and we're back home by 4:50pm, in time to see the Red Wings lose in 3 overtimes - damned Purple Haze, I knew it was gonna mess everything up.  Till next year . . .

 

2009 LPLT Epilogue Summary, Observations, and Lessons Learned

Always good to have a Rook along and Ponch was a great addition - could be Luther's biggest contribution to the group!! (but we missed the Pole and do hope the Doo and even Deuce can join us again sometime).

Many, many thanks to Knocker for help in getting the 45th Parallel Vodka (especially the Horseradish stuff) and to the always-generous DC for buying.  And, a huge thanks to Luther for all the extra stuff he always brings!!

In inventory, we have one half gal of Kettle, 1 fifth of 45th, 2 half gallons of Smirnoff, 1 fifth of Glenfiddich and 2 bottles of port. 

4 bottles of port just right and Sandeman 20 year old is best, but don't never forget the chocolates!!! 

Cookies, crumb cake, and all Jeffi's bread, especially the Olive loaf, is outstanding.  Just need to try and keep bread fresh as possible (might want to put extra stuff in front freezer and just get out as it's needed)

Add foil pans, mushrooms, balsamic vinegar, and hand lotion to the grocery list. Don't need salad dressing as Deadeye can make it

3 OJ's are enough - consumption down in 2009

6 lg cans tomato juice and 6 sm beef broth just about right, make sure to get horseradish,  Worcestershire sauce, and Hot sauce

Don't need mayo but get 2 bottles of good, spicy brown mustard, cut back to 3 lbs turkey for sandwiches

The 59' houseboat was perfect and the generator noise was not an issue (at least for most of us)

The front ice chest on the houseboat is the smartest thing they've ever done (well, except for 2 shitters).  Saves a lot on ice/ice runs

Don't forget to get the pillows, linens, towels, extra coffee pot, folding table, etc from Bullfrog

Don't need jelly as long as we have honey

Wayne wants to make marinade for the chicken, but still need 1 bottle of Allegro for Buckloins

Don't need to bring sugar or sweetener, or essence, we have plenty

Always bring massive amounts of anything Grace cooks!!

2 lg bags of chips enough (at least they were in 2009)

Don't even consider buying salt free peanuts - even Wayne won't eat em

Tonic water doesn't keep from one year to next

Don't F#*K with the menu!!!!!!!  but buy Sodium free salt to cook with out of concern for Wayne's ticker

2 Red Onions and 2 large garlic bulbs enough

Need 2 more Large rolls of paper towels

2 lbs of coffee enough

Need 60 paper plates.  Makes dish washing much easier

1 lg jar olives enough.  Get large thing of blue cheese from City Market rather than huge one at Sam's

Get Large Olive Oil at Sam's (look for balsamic there also)

1 Gal of Milk enough

Roy D and Ron White were, once again, a big hit

Check out all spare tires, boat trailer spares, CD players, etc PRIOR to the trip!!!  Make sure we get Jake's XM player and Buck's antenna

Get more fresh lemons for tartar sauce and fish fry
 

So, boys, there you have it.  Now, wasn't it worth waiting for?  And, despite the horrific memory of the Purple Haze and the misguided decision to go north, a wonderful trip was had by all.  Bottom line, we are all truly blessed to have reasonably good health, wonderful families, and be at a place in our lives where we can truly enjoy each other's company.  It is almost beyond comprehension that a group of guys can continue doing something we love so much for so long, do it so well, without major problems (other than questionable footwear), and still want to come back for more year after year.  The almost spiritual beauty of Lake Powell is exceeded only by the boundless joy of good friends!!! 
See you in 2010, God willing!!!!!!

Love, Buck