LAKE POWELL LUXURY TOURS – 2013 AN
EPILOGUE
Subtitled “Watch That First Step”
We’ve always been told that anything worth
doing is worth waiting for . . . or something like that. Well, that
certainly applies to the annual LPLT Epilogue. I’m often asked why
I wait so long to do it. And, my answer is that . . . anybody could
do it while it’s fresh in their mind, but it takes a true
professional to do it almost a year later. Well, it’s either that
or I’m just a giant procrastinator but, either way, it is a profound
privilege to use the meager talents that God has given me, to try
and capture priceless and precious memories of a group that have
become so much more than friends and are eloquent testimony to the
long held adage that, “We have to grow old but we NEVER have to grow
up”!!!! Here goes, Bassholes . . .
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Since, based on history, I was pretty sure I
would have trouble sleeping and knowing that I’m gonna have to get
up real early, I watch Shark Tank and then hit the pillow at 9pm on
Friday night. After some period I wake up at take a look at the
clock. Its 10:10pm . . . oh, shit, its gonna be a long night. At
3:52 am I get tired of tossing and turning so hit the shower. Turn
the coffee on and put the cinnamon rolls Ginner’s made last night in
the oven to cook for the other two Bassholes travelin with me
today. At 5:15 I send a text to them. Immediately get a reply from
Banjo who has had an equally shitty night’s sleep. No word from the
Pole who must be giving birth to another Democrat. At 5:31 and 37
degrees arrive at Banjo’s house. He’s waiting in the garage so we
load up and head to Fiddlfuk’s house. He is, remarkably, ready to
go so at 6 bells we head to the airport while Ginner’s pours coffee
for the boys and serves em right outta the oven cinnamon rolls.
Don’t know what I ever did to deserve such a wonderful woman but God
is good!!! At airport at 6:39 and thru Security uneventfully (we
think). Pole stops to birth yet another Liberal and me and Banjo
proceed on to gate. 15 minutes later Pole waddles to the gate
telling us that he noticed in the head that his cell phone is
missing. We tell him to go back to Security. He does and they
advise that no extra phones have been turned in. But an actual
friendly, helpful TSA Supervisor . . . yeah, I know it’s an
oxymoron, offers to help by calling the Pole’s phone number. To
everyone’s amazement they hear a phone ringing, under the shoot
where you put your bags to go in the X-ray machine. Apparently it
had fallen off his belt when it took it off as part of the strip
search process and just as apparently Pole never remembered it was
missing when he re-cinched up. Only the Pole!!! I give each boy a
small bag of cookies Ginners also made for them and Pole gives us
each a little container of PoleNuts. In return Banjo gives us each
a ration of shit about why it’s our fault he forgot to load some
movie trailer on his phone so he could play it on the Houseboat.
Think it’s time for the boy to hit the drugs. While we’re sitting
at gate we call Knocker to see if he has started the drive from
Wisconsin to Durango yet. He says they’ve been on the road about 2
hours and they slept in and didn’t hit the road till 6am. At 8:18 I
get a page to check with the agent at the ticket counter. I figure
that can’t be good news but it’s only a Birthday Card from United
Airlines. I thank them and then point out that they forgot the
First Class Upgrade. They all get a good laugh out of that and
direct me back to my seat. At 8:45 we board the plane at see that
Pole is sitting next to Prince Fielder. We also notice that the
Flight Attendant is a little cutie named Amber. We ask her if they
have plenty of vodka as last year’s plane ran out. She instantly
determines that we are “on vacation” and asks where we are going.
When we tell her about Powell she amazes us by asking if we’ve ever
been to Bullfrog Marina. Did I just hear that correctly??? Yes,
she is a Lake Powell veteran and part of a HB timeshare out of
Bullfrog. Pretty easy to imagine her in a bikini, waving to us from
a HB. We tell her about our website and Banjo takes her picture and
tells her to look for it on the website (Guess he was thinking that
some IT Wizard would actually update the website before next year.)
We push back at 9:08 and at 9:45 Amber delivers 6 Bloody Marys to
us. She shoves a device in front of me to collect $44 and not
knowing what it is I just tap it. She thinks I’m pretty funny or
already drunk as what she wanted was a signature on her credit card
machine. Banjo takes his drugs and announces he’s already drunk.
We order a second round soon after but Banjo can’t reach his wallet
as his arm is too sore from writing a $60,000 check to build his
deck for the second time. Pole switches to Buckwheats but is pissed
they have no limes. Apparently they do have limes but no knives
with which to cut them. Sure want to thank those towel headed
pricks for making flying so much fun!! After WAY to much serious
discussion about God knows what we are on final approach to Denver
at 9:30 MDT. At 9:40 we land and Banjo announces that he has to go
pee pee . . . a LOT. Naturally we’re early in to Denver and
accordingly there is no gate ready so our plane get’s sent to the
penalty box to wait. Banjo is now in serious pain. I manage to get
Amber’s attention, explain the situation and she makes a call and
gets the OK for him to run to the pisser. Guess it does pay to not
act your age on an airplane. We get off the plane and call Wayne to
let him know we’ve made it this far. He advises that Pat Murphy has
had a heart attack and he’s at hospital. We tell him we’ll pray for
Pat and then get back to acting like juveniles. We carry on the
tradition of breakfast burritos at the Cantina. Our flight to
Durango is delayed about an hour and a half which is just more
drinking and nap time. We finally get off and land in Durango
around 3pm. It’s windy as hell but about 70 degrees. Wayne meets
us and tells us this is by far the nicest day of the year so far.
We stop by the dealership to get the boy’s fart sacks. We’ve got
just enough time to grab a beer at the El Rancho before stopping by
the Church for our Spaghetti dinner carryout and head to the
Mudhouse Ruins. Sunni is in her studio (imagine that). I
immediately notice that she now has short hair. First time in
almost 40 year’s I’ve known her that she has short hair but looks
terrific with it. We’re also glad to see that Grande is still
around. Thankfully it’s cocktail hour as we watch the last period
of the Wing’s playoff game, their 22nd straight year in
post season, the longest streak in pro sports. We greatly enjoy our
spaghetti, suffer thru several Pole flagellations as watch the
Rockies lose in extra innings and all to bed at 10pm. Nite nite
bassholes.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
I’m so excited about my birthday that I wake up
at 2:47 am . . . shitfukhelldamn . . . and work on my notes and read
my pal Rocky’s book till I finally fall asleep again around 4. Up
for good at 5 and stumble into the kitchen and start the coffee and
take this opportunity to christen the throne before those stinky ass
boys find their way. At 5:30 me and Sunni Jane are solving the
world’s problems on the porch with a great cup of coffee. I am
again reminded that there is something downright spiritual about the
smell of the Colorado High Country at this time of day. There is
nothing else quite like it and it never, ever gets old. Get a Happy
B Day text from GLo and the other boys up by 6. We greatly enjoy
one of Jeffi’s Green Chile Croissants and Wayne, Sunni, and Pole
walk to get the paper while me and Banjo each shower and work on the
grocery list. At 9:45 Jim and Jane head to Hospital to check on Pat
and Three Amigos head to Farmington for some grease at Buck’s
Pancake Alley and hit Sam’s for groceries. Back at Mudhouse at 1
and we wrap 36 frozen biscuits in sandwich bags. Think this is
actually gonna work. J & J return at 1:30. They advise that Pat is
just coming out of lala land but is still on morphine for severe
pain in his shoulder. Got a text from Knock that they arrived in
Durango around 2pm. At 3 me and Pole head to town to buy some
scotch and get some wine for Sunni. We get back home and watch
Rockies get swept by AZ. Looks like it’s gonna be another long
season for their fans. At 5, Jeffi and Jen come out for a mucho
bueno healthy dinner. After eating me and Banjo and Pole make a get
well card for Pat. Jen is gonna take it to him on Monday with a
flower arrangement from us. This outta have him up and around in no
time. All to bed by 9:52pm.
Monday, April 29, 2013
I’m up at 5:02 and make the coffee and warm up
the shitter for the boys. They’re up by 6 and Pole beats Banjo to
the shower and head. Leave the house at 7, and 37 degrees. We see
Weeuh on her walk and talk about her early morning coffee and
contemplation sessions on the porch each morning. Near as we can
tell what she actually does during those periods is think up new
ways to kick Wayne’s ass for being a dick. But, at least he’s our
dick!!! Get to Dealership and begin annual inventory check.
Believe it or not, we find everything just as it was the last time
we saw it. But, for some unknown reason we cannot find Buck’s Elec
Horseman or Stardust CD’s. At 8:30 I drive back to Mudhouse and
find Wayne’s CD case with both of them. He musta stole em from me.
At 9:30 off to Bakery. Spent $64 on our stuff there. Great to see
Jeffi and see that business is still thriving. At 10:45 Luther and
Ponch meet us at the Ohio Hate guy’s liquor store. We tell Ponch he
better cut that bowlin shit out cause it looks like it’s makin his
hair fall out. He’s now sportin the comb over look and wearin lots
of caps. Luther has brought a flame thrower for Banjo. Uh oh, this
can’t be good!!!! Back to dealership at 11:30 and clean up
Goddard’s boat and load stuff in it. Meet Jim at his office at
Noon. He says they now have all tubes out of Pat and have had him
up walking around. Apparently the ER Drs did a hell of a job on him
as his ticker actually stopped for a period. Welcome back
Shamrock!!!! At 1pm we head to one of our annual favorite parts of
the trip . . . lunch at Gaspacho’s. We meet Freeb, Jake, Stink,
Knock, and Mr Whipple there. Good to see Bawana Jake but we’re sure
gonna miss him as he is going on Safari this year vs the lake with
us. Stink is fired up about his Gonads (the fishing ones that is).
I ask him if he can rig a weedless tube jig with it. He says he can
do one so good that even Freeb can’t screw it up . . . we’ll see
about that!!! At 2:45 we head to City Market and Mr Whipple is a
HUGE help finding everything. We talk about sending him the list in
advance next year to put aisle numbers on it and how that will
simplify everything. Banjo reminds us that he had that idea 10
years ago and we pissed all over it. I splain that it wasn’t a good
idea till it was MY idea. Back to dealership by 4 and start sorting
and loading stuff. Reggae and Wally show up shortly and we can’t
help but notice that Reggae is wearing a back brace. Apparently
he’s already preparing to catch the Flying Wallinski. We have a few
ceremonial brews and then head to Pizza place to get stuff to meet
Samina and all the girls for a picnic in the park. Samina is
terminally cute and growing up way too fast!!! We’re home by 8 and
to bed by 9:30.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Well, miracle of miracles, the Sleep Meter has
finally reached ZERO!!!! Awake at 3:32 and by 4 me and Wayne up and
coffee on. Got “sleep all dayers” up at 4:25. Off to town at
5:05. We arrive at Dealership at 5:25 and Luther, Ponch, and Freeb
already there. Denny and Whipple by 5:45 and Stink at 5:53.
Finally, at 6:05 Reggae and Flyboy stumble in. Wheels up at 6:10
with Stink driving as Wayne is gonna stay behind and see Pat at
Hospital and come later if he’s doing OK. If so, he’ll be on road
by 10 and to water by 2. Reggae says back is really hurting despite
brace. But, says he has plenty of drugs and booze to deal with it.
Another time honored tradition at Lewis turnoff with first beer of
day due to Buck’s severe dehydration. Stink tells “fish” story that
2 weeks ago at Lake Morgan he had 6 fish jump IN his boat, including
one 4 pounder. Raise your hand if you’re buyin this horse shit.
Arrive Dove Creek at 7:30. Connie’s is now Deb’s Diner but same old
blisters serving. We put Pole’s order in first before anyone else
orders so he can finish. Two minutes after we finish ordering she
brings Pole’s food. Outta work out about right. On road again at 9
and arrive at Maverick Station in Monticello at 9. On road and stop
at Tin Building piss stop at 9:50. Electric Horseman welcomes us to
one of the most beautiful drives in the nation and 70 degrees.
Stink not letting any grass grow under this rig. He recalls his
Kansas wit with this gem – “I figure if you’re goin somewhere you
might as well get there”. Hard to argue with that. Gotta love
those Kansas boys. Called Jim little after 10. He’s in Mancos and
just opened his first beer. Hit 46 mile turnoff piss stop at 10:40
but no picture since Wayne’s missin. Weather OK but wind could be
an issue. Captain Knocker a wee bit concerned. We had some contest
about what time and temp would be at ramp but musta been drinkin
beer cause notes don’t say anymore. Wayne arrives about 1:30 and HB
at 2. Very windy now but loaded up and ready by 2:30. Captain
Knock does a masterful job getting us into channel. While I fix
Buckwheat’s Wayne drives HB a ways. He prefers the snake technique
which, by conservative estimate, uses at least 43% more fuel than
straight line. Wallstreet’s new “Cleat” model life jacket makes
it’s debut. Only 3 fishing boats this year as we’ve got only 11
guys. Will not be able to fish everyone at the same time this
year. Hardly seems a problem to me. By 3:30 we enter Moki Canyon.
Water way down and not gonna get close to last year’s primo spot.
By 4:15 we’re tied up. Wind not too bad and time for serious
cocktail hour!! Still having a problem getting the houseboat
securely tied up and having a problem with one of the left
outboard. Somewhere in this process we hear (for the first of
several hundred times) that Ponch has lost a pair of $400 sunglasses
in the lake. Several questions come to my mind but they are all
trumped by the main one . . . reckon what that eyewear salesperson
looked like??? Musta been sumthin special. Too bad she didn’t also
sell those $2 chinguses that float your glasses when they fall in
the water. Some of the non Scotch drinkin boys sample the Oban
scotch and declare in drinkable as NEAT. Reckon it outta be at $85
a fifth. Me and Wayne start workin on the burger patties, cheese
slices, and green chiles. During cocktail hour we talk about the
cell phone app that reads the stars. Pole claims to be the expert
and then begins to talk straight outta his ass that if you hold it
down toward the ground it will read the stars in the Southern
Hemisphere. In the process I close my eyes and swear that I can
hear the Jakester speakin in tongues. At 6:30 we dine on Green
Chile Cheeseburgers, Freebie Beans, and Salad. The quality of the
vittles is exceeded only by the company and the booze. Knock and
Cleat do the dishes. Boys are trying to rally but to no avail at
bed grabs the Bassholes by 8:30. Very windy and getting colder.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Generator is on at 5:55. Guys on top got sand
and cold in every orifice last night. Turn on ESPN Radio and the
big news is that the first openly gay pro athlete, Jason Collins,
has come out. Reportedly Michelle Obama tweeted that “we’ve got
your back”. Buck responds that “it’s not HER back he’s interested
in”. Crumb Cake, Coffee, and Bailey’s goes down mucho bueno.
Everyone but Banjo up by 7. All busy rigging poles, baits, etc. At
7:30 Stink, Luther, and Ponch out. At 8:15 Ray, Wally, Denny, and
Freeb out. Banjo up at 8:15. At 8:45 Wayne and Pole venture out in
Goddard’s boat. Pole gonna run troll motor. This outta be
interesting. Me and Banjo just chillin and gettin things
organized. By 10:15 Deadeye and Pole back in. No bites but they
went to main channel and called home. Pat got to go home and
feeling better. Reggae’s boat back in at 10:45 and say they caught
several. At 11:40 we dine on Wayne’s Omlette with Knock doing hash
browns. Luther gonna get fired. Stink boat finally in at 12:15.
They caught a few but kept only one nice smallie. At 12:30 the HB
Mechanic shows up. He’s first Gringo we’ve ever seen in that job.
He fixes frozen solenoid on starter with a hammer. Good guy. By
12:45 naps all around. After naps Banjo and Pole (aka Dumb and
Dumber) hike . . . (don’t ask me why!!!) up above our camp to an
amphitheater. There is also a little cave where they find an
enormous log which they roll off the ledge and aim it at our camp
for a possible fire pit, which presently does not exist. Did I
mention that the dumbass, former law enforcement officer threw a
perfectly good pair of sunglasses in the lake?? It takes 4 guys and
a rope to get the aforementioned log to the area of the potential
fire pit. By 3:45 it’s still too windy to go fishing but at 4:30
Buck goes out with Stink and Knock. The Captain catches 2 and Buck
gets a bite. By 6 we’re back in and no one else has gone out, but
they’ve set to drinking most effectively. At 6:30 Buck gets this
year’s Bruschetta ready. Due to the fact that we forgot to get an
Baguettes from Jeffi he’s forced to use Olive Bread, which, when
toasted with a little Olive Oil is some kinda first class tasty.
Perhaps we don’t need any of that French shit after all. Willie is
singin in the background and when we does “My Hero’s Have Always
Been Cowboys”, Wayne tells us for about the 200th time
that he wants that played at his funeral. To which Buck retorts,
“You’d better add some salt to your diet and cut out that bike ridin
if you expect any of us to still be around for that”. At 7:45 we
dine on a scrumptious meal of Chicken Ore House, LP Casserole, Red
Chile, and Salad. Banjo and Cleat do the dishes. Shortly after 8
we use a little gasoline to light the huge log on fire. Wind has
died down enough that we can all gather around the fire and enjoy
the 5 basic food groups: Beer, Port, Scotch, Vodka, and Chocolate.
Doesn’t get any better than this boys and girls. Nite Nite by 9:15
(and considerably earlier for Jon Boy).
Thursday, May 2, 20
Generator fires to life at 5:50. Boys up top
say the log burned virtually all nite long. It was a little chilly
last night and Cleat says he had to move downstairs during the night
as he couldn’t stop shivering. I’ve known several alcoholics in my
lifetime that have complained of the same malady. At 7:30 Stink,
Luther and Pole head out fishing. At 8 Reggae and Cleat shove off,
and Freed, Knock, and Ponch (sans glasses) shortly thereafter. Buck
and Wayne stay in to work on breakfast burritos, since we don’t have
Grace’s this year (BUMMER!!!!). Banjo stumbles up around 9ish
complaining of a Port headache. Well deserved I’d say. Around 10
the burritos are finished and we’re astonished to see that Buck’s
plan resulted in a few too many . . . imagine that. Around this
time our neighbors in their 72 ft private HB pull out. Group hadn’t
been invited to any of our social functions as it was all old
couples, except for one young pair with a baby. We discuss moving
to their spot as they do get more sun and have better tie-up spots.
We have had to use ropes WAY too long to tie up where we are. Buck
showers which, despite controls with a very small sweet spot.
Apparently showers are one of the more difficult challenges in
Houseboat construction as we have never had a good one yet. Reggae
boat in at 10:15 and Cleat caught caught a whopper Striper. Knock’s
crew in at 10:45 with nuthin but cold. Stink in 10 minutes later
with no better report. Around 11:30 a helicopter flies over headed
to the end of Moki Canyon. Don’t believe we’ve ever seen that
before . . . but then we’ve only been doing this for 38 years.
Buck’s Burritos are enjoyed with some green chile and hash browns.
They are acceptable but nowhere near as good as Grace’s. Come back
please Bwana Jake!!!! Naps by Noon. Around 1:15 Buck, Wayne, and
Banjo motor out to main channel and call home as we’ve promised we
would. All quiet which is always good news, but the boat ride was
cold and breezy. We do watch a video on TV, which is a very old
show featuring Bobby Knight on a show named “Golf Your Way”. It
apparently was a 30 minute show but, based on what we watched, we’re
guessing at least 12 minutes each episode was devoted to bleeps.
Very funny stuff!!! Reggae decides to treat his aching back with a
little of the National Scotch of Scotland, the Famous Grouse. He
should be all healed in no time. Banjo takes Goddard’s boat across
the lake on a firewood hunt. He rolls 4 big ass logs into the water
and hauls em back by boat. Should be another good fire. Dinner
tonight is the wildly popular Posole by Stink, with Beans, and Green
and Red Chile. Esta Bueno!!! Banjo fires up another gas aided fire
and Port and Chocolate all around at 9, all except Luther who hits
bunk. Most of rest of us start to be around 9:30. However, as
reported later the next day, apparently the walkway to the HB took a
giant leap just as Reggae prepared to come aboard. Details to
follow. Nite Nite Bassholes.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Generator fires to life at 6:10 as Luther slept
in this am. Most up in a few to enjoy coffee, Bailey’s, and Crumb
Cake. We are also enjoying the precisely prepared Bloody Mary’s
each day by Freebie. No word yet on whether or not he has mastered
the recipe for blue cheese stuffed olives. However, there is no
sign yet of Greg Louganis Cousteau Gates after last night’s
remarkable “dive”. In sports news, Wings won their playoff game and
series now moves back to Hockeytown. Avs are busy making tee times
at Cherry Creek CC. By 6:30 Banjo is up but still no sign of you
know who. But, by 7:15 he lumbers in, wrapped completely in a
sheet. He looks like a ghost going to take a shit. Apparently he
went face first into the water, at which point Ponch asks him if he
saw an extra pair of $400 sunglasses anywhere. Reggae claims the
Grouse is what got him as he was fightin the Plague with massive
amounts of Grouse. Around 9 Denny takes Buck and Luther out to
fish. After the others land 4 or 5 each Buck finally breaks this
year’s cherry with a monster Smallie (at least 10 or 11 inches).
But that happened ONLY after Stink’s Gonad experience a major
failure and had to be retired. Can’t wait to find out where and how
to file a warranty claim. By 10:15 Buck gotta be back in to start
prep on Biscuits and Gravy. Biscuits are gonna be perfect this year
thanks to the ingenious plan of wrapping them individually so we can
cook 36 small ones vs 1 GIANT one. Reggae’s boat finally in at
12:15. Biscuits/Gravy, Hash browns, and Over Easy Eggs are enjoyed
by all. During brunch, Pole and Freeb attempt to relate a story
about their fishing escapade this am from the shoreline near camp.
Reportedly Pole caught a nice Smallie. However, the photo they took
of it showed it to be a small Largemouth. Then they tell about how
they decided to go ahead and clean it, or “Skin it” as they said.
That’s right, they didn’t say they filleted it, they said they
skinned it. But, apparently it was flopping around so much that
they hit it in the head with a beer bottle to kill it. Here we have
the Ultimate Dumber and Dumbest!!! By 12:30 Naps all around.
During naps Pole and Ponch use some left over flour to make a chalk
line drawing near the site of last night’s immortal “Go Fah Down
Dive”. They decorate it with a Titleist cap, an empty VO Bottle,
and a chair that perhaps jumped out and tackled him in the process
of searching for Ponch’s sunglasses. By 2:30 all 3 boats out
fishing but Buck and Banjo stay back and start to take fish gear
apart. Buck is gonna organize his shit to take a limited amount of
tackle back to Michigan and leave the main tackle bag at Wayne’s
World. We also, being the astute individuals we are, get an early
start on cocktail hour and fire pit preparation. All boats back in
shortly and Wayne scratched himself up pretty good getting out of
the fishing boat. May have to get him either a Cleat model life
jacket or an autographed Reggae Cousteau Walking Stick. Buckloins
are served at 6:45 and, as usual, are world class. Cocktail hour in
full bloom . . . all except the “Diver”. Banjo returns with a huge
load of firewood. Pole helps him haul it and performs a gibungous
“Moon Over Moki” – a site no white man should ever experience.
Dinner is mainly left overs but nobody very hungry. All to fire pit
by 8:30 for Port, Chocolate, and annual tribute to Sparky and Jasper
. . . We continue to miss you boys but enjoy remembering great
stories about your love of this incredible place. Luther to bed at
9:10 and all else by 9:45.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
The most dreaded day of the year begins at 5:51
with the generator on. Naturally it is the best am of the trip. We
quickly begin the process of breaking camp and, as usual, the group
functions efficiently and quietly, like a well oiled machine. By
7:15 Captain Knock has maneuvered us perfectly out of our camp spot
while Buck is busy making sandwiches. We hit the Main Channel by
7:50 and call home. All A OK. At Hall’s Dock by 8:30 and unload.
HB heads back to Bullfrog and look for Amber at 9. At (:15 Luther
and Ponch head out as they are gonna go due north to I-70 and across
to Denver that way home this time. Rest of us kick back and wait.
By 10:53 we are wheel’s up back to Durango for the drive that is
still scenic but not nearly as majestic as it was 4 short days ago.
Gas stop in Monticello and back to Durango by 3pm and its 73
degrees. Hugs and kisses all around and promises of “see ya next
year”, which we seriously mean but never take for granted. However,
the food, booze, laughter, frivolity, and camaraderie has been
nothing short of spectacular. Lake Powell, we love you and we
realize just how blessed we have all been to have gotten to know you
– and each other – over these last 36 years. Until we meet again .
. . Via Con Dias Mi Amigo!!!!
2013 LPLT Epilogue
Summary, Observations, and Lessons Learned
In 2014, remember to see if the rules on Zebra Mussel Certificates
have changed, as they seem to every year.
It was certainly great to have Ponch rejoin us this year, even if he
was a pain in the ass about his overpriced sunglasses. Also, Ponch,
lose the black socks. But, we did seriously miss Bwana Jake and all
of Grace’s goodies. However, we certainly appreciate him letting us
borrow the ropes, XM Roadie, etc. Just remember to get your ass
back next year, even though Pole did a decent job of speaking in
tongues in your absence. Also, the 3 fishing boats worked out OK
for 11 of us. Didn’t hear anybody bitch about not getting enough
fishing in but that could also have been due to how slow the
catching was.
Don’t ever believe the weather forecast which called for it to be
70’s and 80’s each day. However, it was cold and windy till Friday
when it was in the 70’s and light wind. Saturday, naturally, was
spectacular.
In the same regard, DON’T NEVER EVER believe that lying bastard and
his fishing report. This was one of our poorer catching years, but,
honestly, what damned difference does that really make as we had a
safe, and uneventful trip and that’s all a bunch of all farts like
us can reasonably ask for.
Without a doubt, Entertainer of the Year honors go to Ray
“Louganis/Cousteau” Gates for his Double Twist, Full Layout off the
low bridge. Apparently the lesson is . . . Don’t ever fight the
Plague with the Grouse . . . and, Reggae, don’t ever apologize for
bringing so much enjoyment to so many!!! At least you managed to
keep “Cleat” from doing too much damage to himself.
Basic menu still works great. Olive Bread for Brushcetta was a very
good solution. Freed, may have had a few too many beans but thicken
the Green Chile a little bit. But, Freeb, the no-measure Bloody’s
were more gooder than ever. May need more Worcestershire and Beef
Broth.
Still trying to figure out why Cleat shivers even when he’s not
cold. Also, don’t know that I’ve ever seen anybody brush their
teeth in the kitchen as he does but Cindy surely has a reason for
that!!!
Always, let Stink lead the pack in driving from Blanding to the lake
as we get an extra hour daylight.
Moki continues to be the destination of choice for it’s beauty and
convenience.
In order to save fuel in the Houseboat don’t ever let Wayne “Snake
Route” steer.
Send Mr Whipple the grocery list in advance next year to see if he
can put aisle numbers on the City Market items. Banjo, don’t know
why you didn’t make that my good idea years ago.
The GLC boys missed having a hockey bet this year but at least we
didn’t get screwed by Wayne. And, a huge thanks as always to
Luther for the Famous Grouse, Bailey’s and all the countless other
extra stuff he always brings!!.
We once again agreed that 4 bottles of port just right and Sandeman
20 year old is best. Also, need to find the Hershey Nuggets if
possible and, if not, just about any other chocolate will do.
The system for keeping the biscuits from all freezing together was
brilliant!!!
Wayne,
your request for a pair of Purple Crocks like Stink has is about the
same thing as a guy with Hemorrhoids rootin for a second asshole.
Cookies, crumb cake, Muffins, and all Jeffi's bread, especially the
Olive loaf, is outstanding. Just need to try and keep bread fresh
as possible (works best to put extra stuff in front freezer and just
get out as it's needed). Also put things like Cibatta buns in zip
lock bags to keep them fresh as possible.
Pole, sorry but your request to change your name to either Flagstaff
or Flagstiff just ain’t gonna work.
The 59' houseboat is perfect and the generator noise was not an
issue (at least for most of us).
The front ice chest on the
houseboat is the smartest thing they've ever done (well, except for
2 shitters).
Don't forget to get the pillows, linens, towels, extra coffee pot,
folding table, etc from Bullfrog and make sure we get sufficient
quantities of Ice, especially cubed cocktail ice. 8 blocks and 6
20lb bags of crushed came out just right. Don’t never ever let
Wayne screw with it again!!
Need 60 paper plates. Makes dish washing much easier
Check out all spare tires, boat trailer spares, wheel bearing
grease, Boom Box/CD players, etc PRIOR to the trip!!! Make
sure we get Jake's XM player and power cord and Buck's antenna
So, boys, there you have it. Now, wasn't it worth waiting for? It
was yet another successful trip despite less than stellar fishing
but who really gives a rat’s ass bout that anyway? Bottom line, we
are all truly blessed to have reasonably good health, wonderful
families, and despite our advancing age, be at a place in our lives
where we can truly enjoy each other's company. It is almost beyond
comprehension that a group of guys can continue doing something we
love so much for so long, do it so well, without major problems
(other than questionable footwear, overpriced eyewear, and endless
flatulence), and still want to come back for more year after year.
The almost spiritual beauty of Lake Powell is exceeded only by the
boundless joy of good friends!!! Stay Healthy mi Amigos!!!! See
you in 2014, God willing!!!!!! Thank the good Lord for wonderful
things and Watch that First Step!!!!!!!
Love, Buck
